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Writer's pictureWomen Who Slay

Six Questions to Develop Your Own Definition of Success


Whether we admit it to ourselves or aloud to others, we all have an innate desire to be successful. But how many of us really take the time to develop our own personal definition of success rather trying to live up to society's or our families and friends definition of success without considering if this is the best option for us.

If I were to ask you what does success truly means to you will I hear a variation of the popular following answers?

*Social media influencer with millions of followers

* A flashy expensive car guaranteed to get you noticed

* A mansion with an indoor or outdoor swimming pool, in

* A high flying corporate job that comes with lots of perks

* Attractive and attentive partner


All the above are great if they're of your own choosing. But, if you take the time to think about it, your definition of success might be: Single, and living a laptop lifestyle running your own business whilst travelling the world, having adventures each day, and wearing flipflops at least eight hours each day. A person with this definition of success would be miserable in the previous scenarios that's why it's hugely important that you take time out to create your own definition of success.


People may spend their whole lives climbing the ladder of success only to find, once they reach the top, that the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall.” - Thomas Merton.


From my earliest age I knew that I would be absolutely miserable in an office environment or in a corporate setting of any kind, and that I would be far happier in a customer facing career roles. Being of service to others whether in the caring or retail sector was far more satisfying and fit my personal definition of success . Years later this evolved into becoming client centred when I decided to become a certified life coach and co-owner of a female empowerment and mindset transformation brand.

So, how do you define success? Your own definition will require you to like what you do and how you do it and also keep in mind if your choice will lead you to like the person you'll become.


To avoid disappointment make a decision to create your own definition of success! Ask yourself these questions:


1. What type of life do I want to experience?


You might desire a conventional marriage and being an earth mother with lots of children with a big, spacious home in the suburbs or on a sprawling organic farm in the countryside. Or you might like to live in the city, single and the proud owner of a newly built one bed plush apartment in a trendy area with eateries and a pulsating nightlife.


2. What are my values?

A lifetime spent living your values will be fulfilling. Most people have a vague notion of what's important to them, but few take the time to think about it carefully. If you are unsure of what your values are try here



3. What do I want to do?


Make a bucket list of all the things you want to see and do. Everything from the countries you wish to visit, to the activities you wish to try such as deep sea diving etc.


4. What legacy do I want to leave for my children and the world?

At the end of your life, what do you want to look back upon? Is it wealth and a vast business empire? Do you want to leave a string of good works? Do you want to look back on a life full of adventures?


* How will you have wanted to spend your time?

* What financial resources do you want to leave behind?

* What do you want to be known for?


5. What it will take for me to feel successful?


Imagine various scenarios and determine what would make you feel successful. Is it leading a successful team in a multi million corporate company, or living in a cabin in the woods off the grid with few responsibilities? Or is it living in a 15,000-square foot penthouse? Imagine various careers and lifestyles. Which one feels like success to you?


6. What if no one else would ever know?

The idea of owning a Ferrari might feel like success, but what if no one else would ever know you owned it? Would you still feel successful? An ideal version of success wouldn't involve the opinions of others. Defining a version of success that completely your own means one that is authentic to you, and wouldn't involve the opinions of anyone else. There is no one size fits all version of success and it's crucial not to fall into the trap of trying to impress your friends and family.


You owe it to yourself to develop a version of success that is meaningful for you, regardless of society's values and what anyone else thinks. Your authentic version of success will make your journey in life much more enjoyable and success easier to achieve.









W| By womenwhoslay @womenwhoslay











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