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Fear and self-doubt are a normal part of life but they are also two of the biggest obstacles to success and happiness.
We all have fear and self-doubts and some of us are more able to handle and are better able at overcoming these emotions than others. Although regardless of where you fall on the fear/self-doubt spectrum, there are many ways you can learn to rise above these debilitating emotions:
Conquer your fear and self-doubt with this 7 step process below:
1. Identify what you’re actually afraid of.
What do you really fear? Most of us don’t have to worry about being eaten by wild animals. Our lives are rarely in danger. The most common fears in a modern society are a fear of failure and making a fool out of one’s self. Of course, there are others.
*If you want to start a business, but can’t seem to get started, what is your real concern?
* Maybe you want to ask out someone you find attractive on a date. What is the real fear? Is it a fear of rejection? Consider a best case, worst case scenario.
*Be aware of your actual fear, and then you’ll have a chance of addressing it.
2. Find situations related to your fear that are only mildly uncomfortable.
Perhaps you have a fear of public speaking. What could you do that’s similar, but less terrifying? You could:
* Give a speech to a group of friends
* Start conversations with strangers as you commute to work or while you wait in line at the supermarkets
* Visualize yourself giving a speech
* Do more group activities and speak up more at work
* If you’re afraid of heights, you could start by looking down over a 2nd floor balcony and slowly work your way up to greater heights.
3. Take action.
Thinking creates and magnifies fear. Taking action lessens fear. One of the best ways to get over fear is to immediately take action before you have a chance to talk yourself out of it.
* Most people would be more successful, happier, and less afraid if they thought less and did more.
4. Visualize yourself being unafraid.
Imagine you have a twin or an alter ego, that’s similar to you, but different in other ways. Beyonce has an alter ego called Sasha Fierce who is the bold, sassy, badass version we all get to see when she is performing on stage. If you could build the perfect twin or alter ego what would they be like? What skills, beliefs, and attitudes would they have? How would they handle the situation that creates fear in you?
* Allow yourself to become that twin and try faking it till you make it. Practise makes perfect as the saying goes.
5. Give yourself small successes.
Set yourself up to win. Make the game so easy that you can’t fail. As you gain confidence, up the stakes a little. Get used to being successful in the situations that cause you to feel fear.
*If the thought of making 50 cold calls a day makes you break out in a cold sweat, give yourself the goal of making just one cold call. The next day, you can do three.
* Show yourself that you can do it. Show yourself that nothing bad is going to happen to you.
6. Be realistic.
What is the worst consequence you are likely to endure if the thing you fear comes true? It’s probably not anything you can’t handle!
* What happens if the publisher rejects your book? What if your speech doesn’t go well? What’s actually going to happen to you? Will you still be safe? Will your family still love you?
7. Get help.
Whether you need some help from a friend or a professional such as a life coach, there’s no shame in getting help. You would get help if your car’s engine suddenly refuse to start. You’d get help if you had a broken leg. Get the help you need to deal with your fears.
If you're allowing fear and self-doubt to rule your life imagine what your life would be like if you took steps to overcome all of your fears and self-doubt.
Most people are reluctant to leave their comfort zones and avoid the actions that trigger these uncomfortable feelings. You can do better. You can act in the face of these emotions and start to live your life to the fullest.
W| womenwhoslay @womenwhoslay
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